Last Saturday night I and my photographer friend decided to tour our city, and capture various photos in his father’s SLR.

Well at first I was very excited about it, as I have never worked with a SLR. When he told me about the limitations of working with an SLR, that it had only one reel and we could take maximum of only 24 photos and once after a picture was clicked we had to develop it to find out how good it really was. I was pretty amazed how would we be able to capture so much. Also the fact that once a photo, if clicked cannot be deleted, hence only 24 shots. No retake. No control over environment. One click. One moment. One single shot. That’s it.
We decided to meet early in the morning so as to attain adequate exposure and climate.

Next morning we both failed to turn up. Hence we had to delay our meet and reschedule our event.
We decided to meet at 2:00 in the afternoon, bright sun and worked in daylight.

Obviously we could manually change our Camera settings and yes we did too but we also knew if we would have met early today we could outperform.

But then, what’s done is done. And we didn’t knew what the later part of the day had for us.

We wandered in and around the city, and then later we decided to enter this local park named ‘Agrasen Bhavan Garden’ with remaining only 8 parts in reel.

We were on ’17/24′.

On just the right hand corner of the main entrance was the play area. Now at this odd time of the day, there were not much people only a few couples. In the play area we found number of children coming from a nearby ‘Basti’ or Slums playing.

We enthusiastically moved to the core and started to set the frame, now that we had camera every child in the garden coming from the narrow streets of their basti, in which their parents, coming from distinct work and life culture had settled knew who we were.

‘Fotograpar’.

We didn’t knew that we worked for a TV channel until a child told to the other, and that child to all the others.

‘Bhaiya meri fotu loan na’,
‘giggles giggles’ ,
‘Blushing faces’,
‘Idhar bhi ek’

Such phrases started coming from all sides and then suddenly we had around fifty children posing when I and my friend looked at each other and said, “Oh god!”
I took out my phone and started clicking their photos, though they posed for it, they still wanted to be captured in the lens of a Camera.

Untill that they didn’t settled and kept on calling us. We started to take their pictures and in just a few minutes my friend shouted and pulled up the back side of the camera to indicate the remaining shots.

’23/24′.

I took that one last photo. I don’t remember what I did. I just clicked. That’s it.

Children would randomly come and ask us to show them their photos, but we couldn’t show them any as that neither we could see.
We couldn’t explain them about SLR so we gently put it,

“Photos banne mein jayengay, phir dikhaunga”
“Photos need to be developed first, then later. . .”

While leaving the garden, every child had their eye on us. On the gate when I reached our vehicle, a small girl with flowing nose came near my bike and kept a flower on it.

Thankyou so much guys for taking off your time and reading my blogs. Also feel free to give feedback as that I anxiously await your responses.

Hope you have a fantastic 2019!

Till my next post, good-bye, take care!

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Getting over you?!

Laying on my bed half naked and having you by my side, I can’t think of anything much just breathe and be grateful that I came across you. It was early winter, hardly had the trees started to shed, hardly had the birds came back to their nest, just one bright morning and a cool breeze touching our necks.

On my way back to home from school I decided to walk some distance and later carpool, I came across a big white building, walked alone into it not knowing what it had for me. When I walked into I had my phone silent, people walked by and no one uttered a word. Shiny floor, not even a single grain of dirt. Entered the room, pushing this crackling door all eyes turned to me as if it was a tigers roar. A few minutes later I found myself sliding smoothly just like an ice cube. Checked a few, but it was you in whom I found my solace. Funny it is, how you made a hold on me, making me feel like I chose you.

In the first few weeks, you told me about the few lead characters in your life, gradually when I learnt about them from you I noticed how beautiful and amazingly you described them, a moment, a thought and you made it feel like. . Wait! Did I grew up with you?!
Everything that you said, all the good and all the bad I could relate.

Every passing day I knew I was falling for you, every day a little difficult seemed my escape. All day I would just wait to come back home and have you. Also were some nights when we didn’t engage much but having you by my side I was assured of good sleep, our relation was deep and inseparable.

The same way how the skin near the finger is, the same way how a rail is connected to its track. I knew I will always have your back. Days passed by and then came the end of winter, in my routine I spent the most time with you. Now I knew every bit of you, knew every page where my tears damped you. Somehow you always knew to touch me where it hurt the most, engraved your emotions on my bare soul. Not days now it seemed like a life time.

One fine night when the wind was calm and the stars glittered blue, in midst of the stills of that night, slowly I turned a few pages of you, shocked and devastated I felt when you went blank and at the bottom read the words in dark italics ‘The End’.

Laying on my bed half naked and having you by my side, I can’t think of anything much just breathe and be grateful that I came across you. I am a reader and after all this rollercoaster of emotions that I have been through, you can’t just be a book.

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Don’t go to sleep!

I was tired, way too tired to pray,
Woke in midnight and found everything around deserted.

No birds chirping, no truck moving, no fucking nothing. Hardly had I moved across my bed I heard a car in moving, its bright yellow light flashed the contents in my room and that mirror, which I groom in.

Few seconds after the car passed, the scene was unchanged, I thought I saw something in the midst; something that I had never seen before.

Gently now I was on my feet, came a bit close and looked at the mirror, a lite streetlight entered from the window and suddenly an unknown face glowed.

Deep inside I knew it was me, but I saw something different, a face oblivion, a face my conscience wouldn’t agree to be me.
I knew I was tired, and so much I longed for sleep. .

Minutes passed by and the man in front spoke to me, his words were harsh and they flew rough, just like a frisbee –
” I know you have come a way long, and I also know where you belong – I am grateful for the times you had worked at your highest and also for the times you were weak, you almost cried at. Despite that, you know you are not the brightest, you know your limits, you know your potential, you know what you are capable, you know what’s detrimental. . take your run you are still not there, where you are supposed to be.

It’s not time for you to go to sleep, it’s not yet, just because you are selfless let me tell you, tell you that you are not even a cent of what you want to be. Your vision to capture this world remains still unconquered, but before it there are many things you need to quench for.
I know you are tired, I know you have come a long way, don’t you settle!
The monster inside you is still hungry!”

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One Side?

I was just walking in an open park when I saw a couple on a bench. Both the boy and the girl were facing eachother and in between them they had a phone, the screen was lit and something amazed me when I saw them playing ‘LUDO’. Obviously playing a mobile game is no heinous crime; what really shook me was a thought. It didn’t took me more than a moment to pass by the bench, and in that I experienced an unfamiliar feeling. The state of nothingness and everything.

In just a single second I tripped on a number of notions, I started wondering about their family background, about their lives, what the couple would have told to their respective families about their whereabouts? Their family background and all other things. I don’t know why it is such with me? Why I am always searching for some background lifestory of other people? I don’t know if its with everyone or just me.

I continued walking when I came across a empty bench where I took a seat and started observing other peoples in the park. Some people would pass by like a hurricane, some were old grandparents who walked slowly holding each others hand but there were only a few would make an eye contact, very few because my bench was under a tree and also its was dark and it hindered my presence easily.

I was observing everyone passing, observing the way they dressed, trying to catch some phrases from their in-mid conversation, looking at their hairstyle, their body mannerisms – I remember smirking.
And all of a sudden a thought struck me, “What am I doing here?”. The thought followed by a warm breeze of air that messed my hair; just the way there was no possibility of a warm breeze in a cold winter night same was with my thoughts they were vulnerable, and I felt lost.

There was no reason for me to sit on side of a bench, cover myself and watch people doing what so ever they were doing, maybe I was observing my surroundings because I was looking for a new character in my fiction story? Or maybe I have too much time in my hand and I don’t know what to do with it? Or maybe that guy that just passed by knew some magic and could read my mind and then later just decided to mess with it making me vulnerable to the possibility of being able to produce endless thoughts but wait . . If any of it is true why would he have me know about his magic powers?
Or wait, what if he had passed by me long time ago and now I was conscious, able to know the complete scenario?

What?

If?

I?

Am?

Thinking?

Too?

Much?

Or am I dreaming?


Why being consistent is the key to learning?

Each and everything in nature has its own value. And one prevalent common currency across the entire known and unknown space is TIME. Everything around us needs some moments to be recognised for atleast first one time for one sole individual.
You might say why do I need to be consistent to remember a new word. For example I will say take any new and different word from your dictionary here let us take –

aestivation – the arrangement of sepals and petals in a flower bud before it opens
(If you already knew its meaning then open your phone dictionary and find a new word)

Read it once and here.
Read this paragraph:

What would the stars be without the dark, would they be shining diamonds in gods play room or broken mirror pieces being swept by a witches broom?
Top and below, deep and shallow, I know where all my heart has been?
White, black dark, or off-white? What would you want as the colour of your kite? Don’t think much take one deep breath and without looking up remember the word and its meaning.

“Remember the word and its meaning”

You just looked up!

Though I asked you not to. Don’t worry 8 out of 10 people forgot its meaning.
Why? I just read that word? How am I supposed to remember it?
Remember I said everything in this universe has it own value. Time. Maybe remembering a word in not something worth your time, time that you would spent to read this article. So let us learn what? A paragraph to understand how we can implement the same key “Being Consistent” try to remember the paragraph I wrote above.
Want to read it once again? Okay! Go up.

……………………………………………………….

Now tell me the colour of sky?

Black? Yes, right.

Lol wrong.

Read it again. I didn’t mention the colour of sky anywhere in the paragraph. But what if you re-read the paragraph or say the word aestivation and its meaning for ‘n’ number of times. Remember I said everything in this universe has it own value. Time. So now! When you re-read the same word again and again you basically spent some TIME with it”. Learning a paragraph will require that some specific time. That specific time being the value of the the object/word/paragraph for “YOU”. As that each and everyone has their own unique individuality to offer to this universe and hence each and everything considered to have its own value.

So more the unique you are the higher your value and for longer time you shall be remembered. Wait doesn’t all that makes sense now?

Teri Zid!

(Hindi Shayari!)

Aisa nhi ki zindagi mein ab kuch karne ki aas nahi bachi. .

Aisa nhi ki apni manzil tak jane ki maine koyi raah he nahi rachi. .

Koshish puri ki iss kaynat ne mujhe tumse phir se milane ki . .

Par tumhe bhi toh phir zid than rakhi thi mujhe bhul jane ki.

.
Tumhari zid ke samne toh main kya he tik ta. .

Phir yaad aaya, maine he toh wada kiya tha pure Jahan ko tumhare kadmo mein la bicha ne ki.

I KNOW MY DEMON!

Each one of us must have dreamt once in our life of a ghost hiding under the bed or in a closet. .

Face shaped like a big Komodo dragon, dark black long tongue and blood red eyes. . let’s just call it a scary monster and summon.

You imagine it crawling on its stomach shaped like a drum,
long shiny claws by any chance if they clench unto your body system be sure of no tomorrow.

That monster is powered by your negative thoughts and self denial, the longer you wait, the lesser it becomes surreal. .

Every passing moment the monsters hunger increases by a gallon. .

“Don’t think of it, it will soon fade away . .” you say
But you don’t know you are just guaranting its stay. .

To the almighty and the Satan too you would pray,
“Please take the monster away . .”

But you know that you are way to scared to look it for yourself. .

Soon you will fall asleep, and wake up in the morning on your cozy bed.
You even enjoy the day;
Work hard till the sun turns grey.

On your way back home you will be on your own. .
That empty black road will remind you of the monsters throat, a few more moments and your face would be blown ..

Have your supper and move back to bed.

Today again; you will lay on your back on that tidy bed, cover your body with a thick blanket and wonder
“Where’s my sleep at?”

Slowly and gradually the monster would come, bring along some negative thoughts and its rum..

Tonight again you will make your mind run from that dowsy monster, and wish if you had some lights left on turn!

Seeing crawl the same old thoughts and mistakes this time, least you will be stunned . .

“Don’t think of it, it will soon fade away . .”

But this time you know the monster is here for long, for one brief stay.

Only if you could turn back and dare to look unto the monster eye to eye, you would find all this time the monster wasn’t beneath your bed but inside..

It was not the monster who decided to play but fear whom you offered to stay.

Papa, you won’t understand . . .!

Looking at the starry sky on a winter night,
the boy yelled ‘Papa’ when he saw his father coming through.

His eyes were pale and his father could easily tell that his child was hindered by some issues.

The hands spread wide and his father tugged him tight, hoping his child might feel a little better.

Some moments passed by and the father looked into the child’s eye and and inquired with his brows (eye), “Child what’s the matter?”.
Deep inside the father knew right it was his child, he won’t even utter.

Gently the boy gestured a ‘no’, thought a few moments in the conversation and he would cry out in sorrow. . . the father was right it was his child and asked him if he could sing him a lullaby . . .

“Things would go wrong all the time,
Give a little time and see for yourself everything coming back and rhyme. . ,
Failure is a part, don’t lose hope,
Peoples consent is hoax, follow your dreams, work for what you are destined and inevitable shall be your growth.

Walk on the path of humanity, choose truth despite what all the challenges you may face, don’t long for greatness because it comes from within,

Think about your future but don’t panic, think about your past but don’t dwell into it, learn from all the mistakes even from those you didn’t make.
When lost search for a river and if you don’t find one chose to be one.

Life is a movie being shot under one take, all that laugh and cries, everything you go through make it count.

Be like a candle in someone’s dark dream,
Be like a pond in a baking dessert,
Be a pole star and guide every sailor…

No one can promise you of a better tomorrow, so enjoy your present and follow what you will, . . . ”

And on and on the father went, the child didn’t know he was being taught what his school ever can!

Long distance fights!

(Short Poetry)

Take my soul and you may take my heart too,
But don’t let our things just fall apart,
You may decieve the souls you meet, you may lie to the peoples and disagree,
Lying naked on that rusty bed, remember you pinky promised to take self-care, now that I am far, you have become restless, breaking our promise and starving to death – isn’t that you showing disrespect?

I thought our promise would stay intact, I thought we had planned it all; once out of here we would built a house shaped rectangular,
a chimney on top and two tiny balcony’s also a front door . . .
built across a river which would woooosh! all day long and on the shore would be anchored our love-boat very strong.
I know reading this you might get blues, picture us together once again and things might glue.
I too miss you, and remember all the things you asked me to get for you,
not in the name of love but for the sake of life, the distance between us is too long to fight, better you take my soul better you take my heart – but please don’t let our things just fall apart!

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